May 23, 2006...12:14 am

Ode to the Lost Pants

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You were wonderful, oh my WalMart pants. You, who even rich snobby ladies complemented me on. You, who convinced me to break my “don’t shop at the evil empire” rule, seducing me with your cute embroidered flowers.

Alas, you are gone. You have ripped up the butt and will show the world my undies lest I toss you in the trash.

Goodbye, WalMart pants. I’m really going to hate being naked.

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