Quotable
From Sitting Still:
“There is a secret in our culture – it is not that childbirth is painful, it’s that women are strong”
- Laura Stavoe Harm
Yet another lesson I can take from my beautiful time with Aodin. Pregnancy is an absolute miracle, a chance to view life differently. Even though my pregnancy went nothing like I expected, I still got the chance to feel life growing inside of me, and it is a feeling I will never forget.
My precious husband told me the other day that he was having a hard time with this because I lost a son, but he never got to have one. I had a direct, physical connection with Aodin that no one else really experienced. And so now I look at my husband differently. He is stronger than I ever knew, and I am proud to be his wife.
It’s an often overlook truth that we Dads are outsiders until the children actually arrive. We are outside observers who get to watch a magical thing take place. Able only to look on in wonder and oine fo rthe day that we get to meet our children. I remember saying to my wife that I couldn’t wait to meet our babies, unlike her who already knew them but was waiting to see them. I can imagine the heartbreak of it all for Aaron and want to offer him whatever consolation I have. If nothing else he has reaffirmed the amazing depth of love you two have for each other. The strength you both have is astonishing and impressive. Remember he is hurting too and take care of each other. Soon enough you’ll be finding your new pace within the world together.
p.s. my spelling sucks today!
I am consistently amazed and humbled by the depth of devotion and love between you and your husband!
I too, am constantly surprised and delighted by the things Mr Pants does for you – and for your family. He is rarer than gold and far, far more precious, and I respect him so much for his strength and for making you happy. I am so glad that he can tell you how he feels, too – since I must admit I often feel for the men in these situations.
I love you H and Pants is more than a deserving partner for you, so by extention I love him too!
C x
Ps. When you feel strong enough can I bother you for my cloned version of Mr. Pants? x
There are no words to describe how beautiful the love that you and Aaron share is.
I appreciate reading how much you are learning from all of this. I had never thought of what a dad went through, your words (or his words you shared) have brought clarity to the idea. I am wishing you well and join Bre in saying that it is humbling to read such devotion.
I am so very sorry for your loss! May you and your
husband find peace!
I’m glad you are here to write such amazing work.
What an amazing insight–and how awesome that
your husband was able to articulate it and shared it
with you. It makes sense, but I have never heard a
man express his loss that way.