A friend of mine posted the following on her Facebook page:
Marriage is not only about how madly in love you are through the good times, but how strongly committed you are through the bad ones! Love is not always convenient, but if it is true love, it will outlast any strain, overcome any obstacle, & grow consistently & exponentially for all eternity.
Being both naturally argumentative and a die-hard romantic, I had to disagree. I mean yes, I get her point and she’s right to a degree. Of course the strength of a marriage lies in how you weather the storms. Aaron and I certainly learned a lot of important things about how much we could rely on one another when we lost Aodin. So yes, marriage is about outlasting adversity.
My issue is that quotes like make me feel like people want an excuse. People want to be able to say that it’s alright that they aren’t still madly, goo-goo, nutso in love after however long. Many, many people have told me that what I am about to say is naive and that it is unfairly holding others to my own standards…. but I can’t help how I feel.
If you’re doing it right, I can’t help but think you SHOULD be insanely in love forever. It should never end. You should always be as silly happy as you were in the very beginning. Aaron and I were really proud that not long after our four year wedding anniversary we were mistaken for newlyweds by a photographer at an event. The mistake, said the photographer, was thanks to our hand holding, adoring looks, lots of laughter… and she (a weddin photographer by trade) was shocked to hear we’d been married for several years already.
In case you’re curious, here’s the photo that resulted:
Don’t we just look miserable? Look, I know marriage is not always easy. I know you’re going to get irritated with your spouse, you’re going to have arguments and disagreements, no matter who you are. That’s all a normal part of sharing a life with someone.
However, I don’t care what anyone says. I refuse to believe that you have to stop being happy, sappy, crazy in love. To this day I get butterflies when Aaron comes home. I still hold his hand and my tummy feels fluttery when he holds me in his arms. He’s still my favorite place to be.
More from me:
Mamavation Monday: bounce – the one where I FINALLY learn that it’s all about the journey