Arrivederci, Roma

4 Feb

I want to move to Rome.  Anyone who has known me for more than five minutes probably knows that already.  I’ve talked before about how much I loved the city.

I know it isn’t realistic for me to think we will move there and live out our lives as ex-pats in Rome.  Hell, for all I know it isn’t realistic to think we could ever live there.  I just know I want to try.  I want to get out of the US for a while and see things from a new perspective.  I want to be immersed in another culture for a time.  I want my children to grow up aware of the world in the way that only a traveler can be.

Mr. Pants has always been… patient with me about this, and I have always been equally careful to assure him that I would never expect him to go until he had the chance to see the city and decide for himself whether he liked it enough to live there for a while.

Today, utterly out of the blue, he decided this was no longer an option.  I am frustrated.  He’s never even been there.  How can he know?  Why is it alright for him to just outright veto something like this when there are two of us involved?  I am upset.  I am angry.

He won’t listen to a thing I have to say.  He has made up his mind about the way things are going to be and will brook no argument.  He’s not usually this way.  He is usually patient and kind and understanding to a fault.  He is usually reasonable and logical and weighs every option from every angle.  I don’t understand.

So I will be content with his way.  I will be alright because there is no other choice, no other way to stay with the man I love.  I know this must seem ridiculous.  It’s just a place, just a dot on a map.  But it isn’t for me.  It was SO much more, and I can’t get it out of my head.  No place has ever made me feel the same way.

He is the man I love, the man I have chosen to be with for life.  I’m not sorry I chose him.  He is a good man who loves me and takes care of me.  So I bid my dreams of Rome goodbye for the sake of my husband, my marriage, our life together.  Arrevederci, Roma.  Tu mi manchero.

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3 Responses to “Arrivederci, Roma”

  1. Wondy February 5, 2007 at 7:44 am #

    Oh no, H – that’s very sad news. I know how it must feel. And you think there’s no way on earth you can talk him into at least taking a holiday sometime?

  2. JESUS ANTONIO February 5, 2007 at 5:21 pm #

    I totally understand you view, in my personal opinion We must do what We like without affecting a third party.
    Right here my only piece of advice is WORRY IN THE EXACT MOMENT WHEN YOU AND HE TAKE THE SERIOUS DECISION OF MOVING OUT OR NOT, NOT NOW IT IS NOT WORTHY YOUR SUFFERING AND HIS…WORRY AT PROPER TIME. ENJOY EACHOTHER

    Kisses!!

    JESUS ANTONIO

  3. Jennifer February 7, 2007 at 12:42 pm #

    That is disappointing. Life as an expat is not as terribly difficult as one might expect. There is a lot of red tape at the start, especially in Italy, but then it gets easier and turns out to be a lot like life in the US, except with better food and prettier landscapes, especially in Italy.

    He might come around. Or then, you might change your mind. Or then, something else entirely could happen.

    I love Rome, too.

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