16 Aug

Let’s talk for a minute about my theories on parenting.  I think I’ve mentioned somewhere, though I can’t find where, that I am all for some sort of parenting test.  You know, something you have to pass before your body will even turn on the making babies machine?  People who want children and can care for them would have no problem with it.  I’m not talking advanced physics.  I want questions like these:

  1. True or False:  Child abuse is bad.
  2. Yes or No:  Will you do any of the following during your (or your partner’s) pregnancy: drink, smoke, use drugs?
  3. Do you have any intention of doing the things the doctor says you should, like taking care of yourself and getting important testing?

I mean come on.  Anyone worth parenting would get these questions EASY.

The woman who lives across the street, on the other hand?  Not so much.  I came home today to see her standing in her driveway with her husband while he smoked.  She’s at least six months.  Better yet?  She was smoking too.  Oh yeah.  Quality parenting right there.

I tried to sneak a picture but she walked away just before I could get my long-range lens hooked up!  It took everything in me not to go over there ranting, until I realized that would put me in sniffing distance of the noxious cigarettes.  That was all I needed to stay safe in my nice, cool house while she was out there doing the following (from the CDC website):

  • exposing the baby to toxins
  • damaging placental functioning
  • rise in fetal heartrate
  • increasing risk of premature or low birth weight babies
  • decreasing the baby’s organ size
  • encouraging poor lung functioning
  • increasing early chances of disease
  • increasing likelihood of cleft lip/palate
  • tripling the baby’s likelihood of dying from SIDS
  • increasing the chances of stillbirth

I hope she knows that this makes her officially, statistically stupid:

“Younger, less educated, white women are more likely to smoke during pregnancy compared to their older, more educated, minority counterparts.”


6 Responses to “Mandatory”

  1. girlinthecrosswalk August 16, 2007 at 3:52 pm #

    That woman should be kicked in the shins. I despise bad parents. And, absolutely love you and Mr. Pants because you guys are going to be soooo great!

  2. Wondy August 16, 2007 at 4:08 pm #

    That crawls right up my craw too (what is a craw?), I really don’t agree with that either – stupid selfish ass. Here’s hoping she’ll get one of those moments where her conciousness suddenly leaves her body and looks down on her and she sees what a dick she is holding that fag and puts it out.

    Stupid ass.

  3. Kyla Bea August 16, 2007 at 9:46 pm #

    Wow….just….wow. Sound you might have a birds eye view of all of her parenting experiments! Let’s just hope the rest aren’t this drastic!

    Just found your blog, and am very glad to have. I’ll be pulling up the popcorn and hunkering down with the internet when you write from here on out!

  4. brandy August 17, 2007 at 12:27 am #

    Stuff like that frustrates me soooo much. As a teacher, I see the results of parents who spent their entire pregnancies smoking, drinking or doing drugs. It really breaks my heart to see kids in the class with fetal alcohol syndrome, because their parents couldn’t pass up the beer. I mean, it’s one thing to be an adult and make the choice of how you want to treat your body, but to make choices that prevent a child from having an equal opportunity to learn (because let’s be honest, a child with FAS, or many other syndromes etc, will have to overcome things like short attention span, delayed motor skills, speech problems) when they are older, pisses me off. It’s like, before they were born, they already are having to struggle to keep up. Ohhh man. I have so many views on this but I need to stop ranting. I’m glad that you are going to be the kind of parent every teacher wishes a child to have.

  5. elizabethsheryl August 17, 2007 at 7:14 am #

    I think it’s easier said than done to quit smoking while pregnant, especially when cigarettes are basically the coping mechanism for stress and a way to relax especially when a person is super-pregnant, uncomfortable and dealing with a lot of stressors..that is the cue to go to the HIGHLY ADDICTIVE cigarette. I guess I’m just defensive because my mom smoked with me..this was in 1985. She cut back and she tried to completely quit like she did with my brother but life got the best of her. I don’t think it’s a fair comparison than to something like heroin or meth. No, it’s not good and I would never sit around a bunch of people smoking while pregnant (I don’t smoke), but I just think making a witch-hunt for someone smoking camels is a little harsh. Plus, my mom didn’t smoke with my brother, was married and he has ADHD (the real thing, not misdiagnosed..he’s had brain scans showing his frontal lobe being overactive) and “behavioral” issues as a teen while I was a very healthy baby and have had no real long-term issues that they say WILL happen if you smoke while a person is pregnant. Again, I’m not CONDONING smoking while pregnant, at all..I think it’s a huge mistake and a person should try in every way possible to quit, but I don’t think it should be categorized as something that should make a person have to give up their baby/be killed.

  6. elizabethsheryl August 17, 2007 at 7:16 am #

    *my mom was a single mom with me which is why I added that she was married w/my brother.

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