My First Monday

15 Oct

Today I am alone for the first time in more than two weeks.  I was dreading this day, worried that it would bring unstoppable tears.

I am sure I will be sad for at least a little while today, but in the end I am proud.  I not only survived the one week anniversary of Aodin’s birth, but I spent most of the day genuinely enjoying time with my precious husband.  Today I am glad I was happy more than sad.

Aodin has taught me that I want to live my life a little differently.  I don’t want every moment to be about money or jobs or what others think of me.  I am only human, so of course I will sometimes be caught up in things that don’t matter, but in the end I want to live with a different purpose.

I want to enjoy my life, spend time with my friends and family, and live a life worthy of my precious, perfect son.  If I can live with the right priorities, not only will he be proud of me, but my life will be better for it.  My husband will profit, my children will have better lives.  Everyone will be happier, and I will have so much peace.

I am already feeling that peace, in quiet moments when I can feel my worldview changing.

Thanks, Aodin.

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7 Responses to “My First Monday”

  1. girlinthecrosswalk October 15, 2007 at 1:29 pm #

    You’re beautiful.

  2. Oh, The Joys October 15, 2007 at 7:22 pm #

    This is the first time I have been able to visit since my grandmother’s death. I was worried I would learn this was what happened and I am so sorry.

    I spent all day crying too.

    Much love,
    J

  3. Bre October 15, 2007 at 9:28 pm #

    You’re so very very brave

  4. Wondy October 15, 2007 at 9:46 pm #

    I can’t tell you how warmed I am to read this, I feel the positivity in it and it gives me hope that you are really going to be ok and will go on again to do wonderful things. Aodin is on my mind too, and in the same way has made me appreciate life more – all these beautiful things I am seeing every day make me sure there is a grand plan – whatever that plan is!

    You are an inspiration, Heather – keep on going, my love x

  5. Tara October 16, 2007 at 10:01 am #

    When you figure out love is all that matters after all
    It sure makes everything else
    Seem so small

    It’s a line from the Carrie Underwood song, So Small. It seemed appropriate.

  6. Tara J. October 17, 2007 at 3:35 pm #

    It’s nice to see these words. Something good does come out of every situation we find ourselves in, no matter how painful. Watching you struggle with decisions about school, working so hard, not really having time to enjoy much, and worry, worry, worrying about it all — I’m happy to hear your perspective has changed. So apparently, Aodin did his job — you learned what you needed to from him and the experience of him. Wishing you and Pants continued healing in your new more peaceful life together.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Wonder Women « Wondy Woman - October 16, 2007

    […] I wonder how you have been managing and I am reassured by the things you share with us, like this post.  I love your honesty and I love that you have shared Aodin with us – his life has touched mine […]

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