43 days, 5 hours, 51 minutes

19 Nov

I am still counting, but it did take me a moment this morning to figure out exactly how long it has been.  Yesterday was six weeks exactly.  In general, I think things are starting to ease, to ache a little less in the general course of my day.

Sometimes I still break down, of course…  especially when prompted by a sad song or a particular moment of memory.  I think I am manifesting in other ways though.

I have been having nightmares.   Some of them were thanks to an unexpected viewing of certain disturbing images, directly related to this.  Now I have finally moved away from dreaming of babies in jars, and on to terrible save-the-world dreams.  These are pretty standard fare for me in terms of dreams…  the weird part is that I usually feel stressed or anxious when I am having them.

Last night, I dreamed the earth was being overrun by zombies.  I had to save myself, my husband, the dog, and three young girls.  These dreams are more than scary… their terrible because it is up to me and only me to save people’s lives!

Anyway, when I have them my sleep suffers.  As such, I have already had too much coffee this morning and am considering the merits of a three-day work week.  Yay for Thanksgiving!

Thanks to the holiday, I will be off on Thursday and Friday, which means lots of time with family, a ton of great food, and a chance to sleep in some more.  I cannot wait.

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2 Responses to “43 days, 5 hours, 51 minutes”

  1. rainypete November 19, 2007 at 1:38 pm #

    Rest up kiddo. Insomnia is pure hell when it lurks. Trust me!

  2. girlinthecrosswalk November 19, 2007 at 2:20 pm #

    Are you hanging out with that weirdo that made you watch Freida again?! Avoid Freida Kahlo at all costs. Or at least for right now. Then again if you avoid her for the rest of forever I don’t think you’ll be missing much… not a big fan.

    If you need to call someone in the middle of the night if you’re up from nightmares and you don’t want to wake Aaron up, you can call me. I might not be able to share with you in the feelings of losing your son because I’ve never lost a child. But I will most certainly be up and able to understand being afraid from nightmares because I have those all of the time. And they suck.

    ❤ you Hea! You are one of the strongest people I know.

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