Control: An Epiphany

29 Nov

Where is the balance between good for my body and dirty hippie hair?  I adore Burts Bees lotion, blemish stick (best ever) and lip gloss.  I even like my new deodorant and Toms of Maine toothpaste.  Burts Bees shampoo and conditioner, however, hate my hair.  It looks dirty after one day…  I can usually make it three.

So what do I do?  Where do I find the middle ground?  And how come I am just now realizing that this is all about control?  Why has it taken me so long to see that losing Aodin has made me feel utterly helpless, no longer at the wheel of my own existence.  If I cannot hold on to my own son, what could I possibly manage to be in control of?  How could I begin to call the shots?

This healthy cosmetics thing is… a phase.  I don’t mean to say there isn’t some worth in it, and I will most certainly continue with the products I have found to be both healthy and useful, but in the end this is about wresting some small measure of control away from the universe.  It is about saying “Look, universe…  I can make decisions.  I can change things, and you can’t stop me!”

Except it can.  I can be stopped.  I can be floored, crushed, broken…

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4 Responses to “Control: An Epiphany”

  1. girlinthecrosswalk November 29, 2007 at 11:43 pm #

    Yeahh. I hate to admit it, but you’re very right about the control issue (from someone who does the same thing…). It’s ok though. As long as you can recognize it as an issue and try to stop. The more you try to control things like that the more out of control you feel. Don’t know if it helps any, but thought I’d throw it out there.

    ❤ you.

  2. Coggy November 30, 2007 at 6:12 am #

    I have tried endless ‘good for me’ shampoos and my hair hates them all. I look dreadful after using them. I’m afraid I always end up reverting back to the old Her.bal Ess.ence sad but true.
    I love your epiphany. I get those now, I realise oh you are doing this because of x,y and z. I continue to do them though and I think as long as we realise that we’re doing them it’s OK. What ever works is my moto. I just the I.D Bar.e E.sen.tuals range of cosmetics I don’t know how they rate on the ‘good for you’ but I think they’re pretty good, actually they’re the best base powder I’ve ever found.
    Also I think you can be floored, crushed, broken… but you can’t ever be stopped, you are a strong lady. 😉

  3. meg November 30, 2007 at 9:54 am #

    Burt’s Bees is no good for my hair either. It actually totally dries it out. I did find that the Kiss My Face shampoo worked really well for me. I’m now using this new stuff called Live and it seems to work pretty well for a natural one.

    I’m a control freak, so I get where you’re at in trying to take some control. I wish we could have some (any) control over the universe. Floored, crushed, broken…that’s about right.

  4. rainypete November 30, 2007 at 11:03 pm #

    It’s times like this I’m glad I’m a guy and not in the least bit worried about how my hair looks. I think I could use Mr. Clean on my hair and not stress over the results.

    Control is a funny thing. Try not to exert too much of it over your life and the world around you as it will not work out and as BK said, will make you feel lost. Be true to you and take care of yourself.

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