Call It Out

18 Dec

I was catching up on some of my blog reading this morning, and I came across this post from Oh, the Joys. In it, she talks about her wonderful uncle, her recently lost grandmother, and the general worth of family. I love her posts about family because, in general, I think she and I think about our families in much the same way. Today though, it was actually a link to another blog, World of One Thousand Different Things, that really touched me.

In this post, Aliki talks about a memory… one that I should just quote instead of trying to recreate the power of the original words:

I remembered how a long time ago my father looked up from a book he was reading to remark something about a tribe somewhere who believed that the dead lived again when their loved ones spoke their names out loud into the air, so that the sounds of their names would fall on the ears of those who loved them just as they used to do and, in the process, their spirits would return, albeit briefly, to the world again. This is a beautiful idea, I think; that in speaking the name of someone we love, someone who has passed away, we carve out a little space for them to exist again next to us.

I was so touched by this idea, so moved by the thought that there is power in our words, our intentions, and our love for those we have lost. I love the concept that when I speak his name, my sweet little Aodin is brought back to me, if only for a moment. I know that in so many ways he is always with me, at my side, in my heart, holding my hand… but this still struck me as something beautiful, something that speaks to the might of memory and loss and love.

And so, I am asking a favor. Just once today, alone in your car or on a crowded subway car or walking down a sidewalk with friends, on the phone with a relative or in line at the store or sitting at your desk, say his name. Aodin. Just once, out loud, to bring him back to me for a moment.

As for me, I will say his name. I will also say Ethan, Sam, Helen, Papa, Clara, Wondy Dad, Tess and Margeaux, Granny, Jesse, Paige, Owen, J, Callum, Ava and Anna, Birdie, Lukas,  Justice, Charlie, William, Jordan and Tanner, Hayden, Kimberly, and a special prayer for Meg’s lost angels. I will speak out loud the names of everyone I know who has been lost. I will pay tribute, however small and quiet, to those who have touched the lives of the people who are so important to me. Today, for at least a moment, I will pay my respects.

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16 Responses to “Call It Out”

  1. rainypete December 18, 2007 at 10:31 am #

    There is a special magic that lives within our hearts. The bodies of the ones we love and care for can be taken away from us but their memories and spirit will always live on within us. They are never truly lost until we forget them. May they live on forever through our love.

  2. c. December 18, 2007 at 10:44 am #

    This is most beautiful and touching, H. I am crying as I write this because I am overwhelmed by your love and compassion for all of our children who cannot be here. I will happily say Aodin’s name, along with all the names of the babies I have met in deadbabyland. Thank you.
    XO.

  3. charmedgirl December 18, 2007 at 11:09 am #

    me too.
    thank you heather.

  4. meg December 18, 2007 at 12:52 pm #

    I already did it, Heather. What a lovely idea. Thank you for including my girls too.

    I’ll be out in the snow later, walking the dog and I’ll say as many names as I can remember. Because of the storm, no one will be on the beach. Just me and the hairy one, the snow, the lake and our memories.

  5. Caryn December 18, 2007 at 12:58 pm #

    Wow, Heather. That made me cry. *hug*

  6. Coggy December 18, 2007 at 2:26 pm #

    Thank you Heather that means a great deal to me, to know that you think of my little man too. I think about all our babies a lot, I think I said somewhere that I feel like this i my extended family now.
    C x x x x

  7. ohthejoys December 18, 2007 at 3:32 pm #

    I said his name, friend.

    xo,
    OTJ

  8. christavswonderwoman December 18, 2007 at 3:57 pm #

    I am crying onto my keyboard as we speak, H – thank you so much – I love this idea too, and do believe that the longer you avoid saying their names because it hurts, the harder it becomes.

    I’m going for a walk along the lake to bring my Aodin out – he deserves to be in a beautiful, peaceful surrounding.

    I love you so much – you inspire and are on my mind, every day.

    x x

  9. irunwithscissors December 18, 2007 at 8:49 pm #

    wow sis… that was a beautiful post.. i definitely say his name for you! Love you!

  10. Chica December 19, 2007 at 8:43 am #

    This is a gorgeous post and a beautiful idea. I always used to write my grandparents names in the sand every time I went to the beach after they passed away, and I always tell everyone my granddad’s name because I like saying I’m his granddaughter 🙂

    Saying Aodin’s name, much love xx

  11. Bre December 19, 2007 at 10:05 pm #

    There’s something incredibly powerful about voicing a name.

    I’ll surely be voicing Aodin’s!

  12. Becca December 20, 2007 at 11:02 am #

    Wow what a moving post. And thanks for including me as well.

    I just said his name, what a great idea.

  13. KennethSF December 20, 2007 at 12:27 pm #

    I’ll add my voice to the echoes coming from here. Take care!

  14. ashleigh December 21, 2007 at 4:49 pm #

    So lovely. Thank you for me and for Owen.

    I will do the same and know that somewhere someone is remembering………..

  15. christavswonderwoman December 22, 2007 at 10:19 pm #

    I tried to write yours and Aodin’s initials in the snow this afternoon, but it didn’t work. I did think of you both though out there by the lake, so peaceful.

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