Not A Creature Is Stirring…

25 Dec

I just realized I missed wishing everyone a Happy Hannukah.  So…  Happy Hannukah.  Also, Happy Kwanzaa, which is coming up soon.  Blessed Winter Solstice as well.

But today, just today, Merry Christmas.

It is Christmas morning.  I am alone with the sound of the keyboard and the smell of brewing coffee.  Southern Comfort Vanilla Spice Eggnog coffee to be precise.  Any minute now the coffee maker will beep that it is done… ah, there it goes… sending Savannah into an early morning fit of barking.  Here she comes now….

The house is quiet and mostly dark.  There is light peeking in through the living room blinds.  There is no snow.  Our presents are few and small, sitting under a lamp instead of our tiny fake tree, which never made it out of the box this year.

Things seem different.  It doesn’t feel like Christmas, but instead like some other strange day.  Suo Gan echoes in my head.

Sleep my baby, at my breast,
’Tis a mother’s arms round you.
Make yourself a snug, warm nest.
Feel my love forever new.
Harm will not meet you in sleep,
Hurt will always pass you by.
Child beloved, always you’ll keep,
In sleep gentle, mother’s breast nigh.
Sleep in peace tonight, sleep,
O sleep gently, what a sight.
A smile I see in slumber deep,
What visions make your face bright?
Are the angels above smiling,
At you in your peaceful rest?
Are you beaming back while in
Peaceful slumber on mother’s breast?
Do not fear the sound, it’s a breeze
Brushing leaves against the door.
Do not dread the murmuring seas,
Lonely waves washing the shore.
Sleep child mine, there’s nothing here,
While in slumber at my breast,
Angels smiling, have no fear,
Holy angels guard your rest.

Tears fall, slow and silent, but I am not alone.  Aodin is with me here, in my silence, in my sadness and my joy.  I hope Heaven isn’t busy this Christmas, because I will selfishly hold him to me today.  If I concentrate on his sweet spirit, he brings me some small measure of peace.  He helps me to see the beauty in what we have been through, and the precious worth of all that we have.

So Merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays.  The words are not what matters.  All that makes any difference is that you take a moment to appreciate the beauty we all have in our lives.  Look around you, hug your loved ones, smile over the simple beauty of a flower or a painting or a friend.  I wish you peace.

4 Responses to “Not A Creature Is Stirring…”

  1. c. December 25, 2007 at 12:33 pm #

    This is beautiful, H.

  2. christavswonderwoman December 25, 2007 at 4:25 pm #

    You have already been given the greatest gift this year – and today, a small part of him is with us all. A big kiss to you Heather, I feel for you so much at this time. Thank you for your friendship all year and every year, I adore the very bones of you x x

  3. meg December 26, 2007 at 4:33 pm #

    Beautiful post Heather. I’m glad you made it through the day. I know it’s really tough.

  4. girlinthecrosswalk December 26, 2007 at 8:35 pm #

    You cried-ed-ed on Christmas??? 😦 I love you. And I’m sorry you crieded.

    P.S. I knew we should have done a celebratory Christmas jig! It would have made it “feeeeeel” like The Day. I forgot to insist!

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