An Aha! Moment

20 Feb

I think I know, at least in part, why today has been especially hard for me.

A coworker, who I don’t really know at all but who others know well, lost his five year old son over the weekend.  The little boy had been sick for a little while, and he had been seeing lots of doctors to figure things out, but I get the feeling no one was expecting even the possibility that he could die.

At some point this weekend, he had a seizure and that was it.  I cannot imagine what his parents are going through.  I don’t know if there is anything that you can even say to someone at a time like this.

I should say that I don’t think their trial is the same as what I went through.  It has long been my opinion that the longer you have to get to know a child, the more you suffer if you lose them.  I don’t think that makes MY pain any less real or legitimate, but I do think it must be worse for them.  I hope to God, who I am still speaking to on a case-by-case basis, that I never have to know for sure.

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7 Responses to “An Aha! Moment”

  1. Mom February 20, 2008 at 3:56 pm #

    OMG sweetheart! My heart is shattered for them…my heart is shattered for you; anyone who wants a child and loses it at any point …. that is a tragedy beyond words. There just isn’t any measuring it- we can never, ever begin to understand the pain of these things until they hit us personally….I pray to God you never know anything worse than you have already faced. If you were here I would hug you tight….OH, I’ll hug you tight when you GET HERE!! ALL my love…

  2. egan February 20, 2008 at 5:28 pm #

    How utterly horrible. I don’t think there’s a need to compare your tragedy to theirs. Each is difficult in their own right. I wish them the best.

  3. Amy February 20, 2008 at 8:27 pm #

    I am so sorry for them. I do know that there is nothing you can say! I go to a Compassionate Friends group. They wouldn’t agree with you on the time thing. The loss of a child is the loss of a child. That is the tie that binds. Please wish their family peace for me as I know there is nothing else to say.

    I also want to say, go take a peek at my blog! You my dear have been tagged!

  4. rella February 20, 2008 at 9:05 pm #

    Not a regular reader, but a sister in the loss world…
    Nothing anyone says can change the horrible loss, but actually acknowledging that a real loss has happened is something that even the most well-meaning friends and family can’t do. I was so grateful for every “I’m so sorry that your baby died” to balance all of the stupid, “Everything happens for a reason” comments or the silence of those who just couldn’t get it together to say anything.

  5. Bre February 20, 2008 at 11:11 pm #

    My God, that’s so terribly sad! I’m so sorry that this has put you into an emotional funk – but knowing you, you will find a way to renew your energy and faith!

  6. irunwithscissors February 20, 2008 at 11:13 pm #

    OMG how awful! I will definitely be keeping them in my thoughts!

  7. Oh, The Joys February 21, 2008 at 3:43 pm #

    Oh, how awful. Awful.

    xo,
    J

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