24 Mar

I hope everyone had a wonderful, peaceful Easter.

We spent the day with Aaron’s family, eating way too much food and enjoying a beautiful walk around the neighborhood in the nice Spring weather.

Yesterday was tough for me.  It marked the first holiday (and such a child-friendly one too) where Aodin would have been here, in my arms instead of my belly.  Aaron’s cousin has a beautiful little girl who is around 1 and was having a grand time with the Easter egg hunts, and that hit me harder too.  I wasn’t crying, but I couldn’t help being a little sad…

Last night I had the most realistic dream I have had in a long time.  It was so real that when I woke up I was, for a moment, totally disoriented.   I dreamed that I was holding a baby, a little boy who was brand new and wrinkly and small, and I knew somehow that he was mine.  In the dream I held him, I nursed him, and I felt total peace.

I don’t know what it means.  I don’t know if it means anything at all…  but I choose to think it does.  For me, I choose to think that this was Aodin’s way of telling me that things would be alright, that I don’t need to hold on to so much fear about my next pregnancy.  I woke up feeling a pinprick of tears, but also such a warm feeling of peace and love…  Not a bad way to start the morning I think.

Maybe this was my own personal Easter blessing…


3 Responses to “Easter”

  1. c. March 24, 2008 at 1:18 pm #

    That sounds like a beautiful dream. I like the way you’ve chosen to interpret it. There is surely no harm in believing something like that. I hope you are right. XO.

  2. g March 24, 2008 at 4:02 pm #

    What a wonderful dream. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and… jealous. I want a dream like that. 🙂

  3. christavswonderwoman March 24, 2008 at 7:45 pm #

    It’s funny, but Aodin was on my mind a lot yesterday. I spent a lot of time wandering around the baby section in Chapters, picking stuff out for you – stuff I would have sent to Aodin, that I will send to you in the future. He’s all around and I really do feel he has changed my life for the better.

    I can never thank you enough for the gift of your beautiful son. I know we can’t hold him in this lifetime, but there will be a time I’m sure when we will all get to meet him.

    You’re beautiful H, and I love your dream x x

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