Letting Go

23 Apr

My precious Aodin —

Today I let you go a little bit. I don’t know how it happened or why. I wasn’t particularly thinking of you… at least no more than usual. I was getting ready to get into the shower and there it was, a little feeling, a slip…

It was you. You slipped away, just a little. In the moments that followed, I realized that it was a good thing. It was another step in healing. I spent the next hour going through all of your things. I re-read my hospital journals. I held your baby blanket and little crocheted hat. I looked through your pictures. I studied your first and last sonogram.

And then I smiled.

Thank you.

04.23.08 Letting Go (365.102)

6 Responses to “Letting Go”

  1. holly April 23, 2008 at 5:36 pm #

    I’m glad you were able to let go. It can be so difficult and heart-wrenching, but it needs to be done. I still wonder “what if…” when I think of the babies I lost and hope that Hayden understands why he is an only child. Sending you a big, strong hug.

  2. Becky April 23, 2008 at 9:33 pm #

    This made me cry. But in a good way.

    Thanks Aodin, for giving your Momma some peace. She deserves it.

  3. brookem April 24, 2008 at 9:33 am #

    Aww, you are healing. That must be comforting.

  4. MOM April 24, 2008 at 2:17 pm #

    Oh angel; all is well and I heal with you and smile with you and love with you always – you are doing so well and I am so proud of you!! MOM

  5. c. April 24, 2008 at 7:41 pm #

    Oh, H. You’ve made me want to cry. I just keep wanting to hold on for dear life. Fear keeps me from doing what you’ve just done…

  6. antigone April 24, 2008 at 8:02 pm #

    I still can’t go anywhere near that box.

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