Dear Mothers Day

30 Apr

I call truce.

I have reached an uneasy peace with you thanks to the following revelation that I have finally, finally, come to embrace:

I AM a Mother.

I know it’s not a revolutionary idea to most of you, but for me it has been hard to accept sometimes.  Could I be a mother though I have no child to hold, to feed, to dress?  Could I be a mother though I will not raise my son?  Is birthing him enough?

Yes, and no.  I can be a mother, I am one, despite all of these things.  However, no, birthing is not enough.  What makes me a mother is that I love him so fiercely that I would choose to lose him again if it was the right thing for him, if it spared him one moment’s discomfort or pain.

So, Mother’s Day, you can come.  I know that you will leave me with some tears, and some longing for my precious son… but that is not so different from any other day.  This is still my first Mother’s Day.

Advertisements

6 Responses to “Dear Mothers Day”

  1. c. April 30, 2008 at 10:25 am #

    There is a level of selflessness that accompanies the best of mother’s. This post explains just why Aodin is so lucky to have one of them. XO.

  2. Amy April 30, 2008 at 11:15 am #

    I think I’ll join you in the “This is still my first Mother’s Day.” However I will be with my sister celebrating the fact that she was my 2nd Mommy of sorts and thought I was a doll who peed and pooped!

  3. Becky April 30, 2008 at 2:29 pm #

    *hugs*

  4. MOM April 30, 2008 at 9:56 pm #

    ANGEL!!

  5. irunwithscissors April 30, 2008 at 11:19 pm #

    🙂 You are a mother! and I am glad you have come to terms with that on your own! Love you! ** Hugs **

  6. tash May 1, 2008 at 3:19 pm #

    This is a really beautiful sentiment: “What makes me a mother is that I love him so fiercely that I would choose to lose him again if it was the right thing for him, if it spared him one moment’s discomfort or pain.” Whether we wanted to or not, we all had to do *something* for our dead children, and that absolutely makes us mothers. Ones who’ve had to face what other mothers will never know.

    And yet I still think I’ll drink my face off and sit in front of the television.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: