Letters

3 Jun

Dear Billy Blanks: I am relatively sure that you’re an evil sadist. I truly believe you enjoyed almost killing me and two of my coworkers at lunch today when we attempted the BASIC Tae Bo workout. You are insane. Your abs are terrifying.

Dear Laughing Cow Light Swiss Cheese Wedges: Unlike the aforementioned Billy Blanks, you could conceivably have come straight from paradise. You are creamy and good for me, you taste fantastic on my new whole grain bread, and my genius idea to add you to my “grilled” cheese (in a toaster oven) at lunch made you an exciting addition to my mid-afternoon nourishment. I love you. I will continue to purchase and consume you. Also, your little mascot makes me happy, with her cheese wheel earrings. Observe:
Laughing Cow logo

Dear baby carrots: Thank you for being a serving of vegetables. You are cool, orange, and sort of sweet. I approve.

Dear arm muscles: No, I do not hate you. In fact, I like you a lot. Unfortunately for you, that does not mean I am going to stop doing these push-ups every day. You will get stronger, like it or not.

Dear Hungry Girl cookbook: I am so glad I brought you home with me! You have a cute, shiny cover, and you are full of exciting things like tuna melts and PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE. You are a blessing. I just wish you’d lay off the Tofu Shirataki noodles, as I cannot bring myself to cook and eat anything that smells that bad right out of the package.

Dear YOU: Thanks for reading. I appreciate you.

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10 Responses to “Letters”

  1. Judy June 3, 2008 at 2:21 pm #

    I actually really like the tofu shirataki noodles. Dump the liquid in the package in the sink, parboil them, drain and rinse them. The taste and yummy healthy goodness totally outweighs the weird smell.

  2. Mom to Baby J June 3, 2008 at 4:26 pm #

    Hi! Sorry I’ve been so MIA. I like baby carrots too. Never could get into that cheese though. If you have no idea who this is check your email…

  3. BK June 3, 2008 at 4:56 pm #

    Dear Heather,

    I appreciate you too. I also very much enjoyed your letters.

    Love,
    BK

    😉

  4. Caryn June 3, 2008 at 5:55 pm #

    hee! I love the Laughing Cow mascot! And the letter to your arm muscles made me giggle. You are too cool.

  5. tash June 3, 2008 at 6:52 pm #

    Ok, the cow stuff has me LOL. And adding it to my grocery list.

  6. Jenny June 4, 2008 at 6:03 am #

    Ooo, I can’t stand those tofu shiritaki noodles – they’re extra super chewy, and I just can’t get past the texture!

  7. Yummy Sushi Pajamas June 4, 2008 at 7:40 am #

    It seems like the noodles are a love/hate thing. Everyone I talk to is passionate about finding them either amazing or disgusting, and nothing in between.

    When they first came out, I bought like six packages, but I never cooked them because the smell when I opened the first one turned my stomach and I just couldn’t make it happen!

  8. Amy June 5, 2008 at 10:11 am #

    You make me laugh…I love your reviews…Billy Blanks can just kiss my fat a..! That’s just mean of him to do that to us! The laughing cow is one of my favorite cheeses…yummy! I think I need to go buy some more! Glad you are my friend too…glad you are here to make me laugh! Thank you!

  9. Shamelessly Sassy June 6, 2008 at 12:51 am #

    Billy Blanks totally kicks my ass every time I watch him.

  10. holly June 12, 2008 at 6:07 pm #

    I love this post! You are too funny. I love laughing cow too, I am totally addicted to cheese again. I was vegan for a long time but I missed cheese soooo much! Have you had the Babybel cheese? It is to DIE for. Yumm.

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