October 7, 2008

7 Oct

One year.  I don’t even know where to begin.  I will begin by saying thank you to each and every one of you.  The support and love that each of you have shown me, the hugs and helping hands and unexpected cards… you have utterly restored my faith in the beauty and amazing worth of humanity.  Thank you for sharing a piece of your hearts.  Thank you for making this process less painful, more hopeful, ever so slightly easier.  Thank you, from the bottom of my forever changed heart, for shouldering some of my burden.  It was not yours to carry and yet you stepped up to grab a corner.  You will not soon be forgotten.

I thought I would be alright today… until I got up and found Aaron standing in the kitchen, waiting to hug me.  Safe in his arms, I cried.  At once it seems like only yesterday, and something lived in another life altogether.

One year.  One year without you, my precious son.  I have learned so much, grown so much in this last year, and you are to be thanked for that.  From you I learned patience, perseverance, determination.  I learned about the depths of grief and love, the value of friends and family, and what it is to be a mother.  You taught me the value of my own strength, and the importance of reaching out for the strength of others.

You, already too perfect to stay, showed me a new way to look at the world, a way to see beauty in everything, hope around every corner, to hear music in the wind and see smiles in the sunlight.

Oh God how I miss you, how my heart aches for you today as ever.  I know you are with me always, but please… for the sake of your weak and emotional Mommy, stay close today.

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15 Responses to “October 7, 2008”

  1. Mom to Baby J October 7, 2008 at 7:54 am #

    Thinking of you today, Heather. And Aodin. What a wild, emotional, often heart wrenching ride we’ve been on this past year. Many, many hugs.

  2. MOM October 7, 2008 at 8:24 am #

    OMG…I love you, Aaron and Aodin so much…and Sweetpea! HEART!!!

  3. c. October 7, 2008 at 9:01 am #

    Oh, H. I’m so sorry. Just so sorry. Holding you and sweet Aodin so very close to my heart today. XO.

  4. Emma October 7, 2008 at 9:20 am #

    You’ve been through an incredible journey and Aodin has made you an amazing mother. We all know he is right there beside you, all the way…hugs and thoughts…

  5. Antigone October 7, 2008 at 9:32 am #

    Our lost children change all of us forever. I hope his memory helps fortify you for the coming months.

  6. mrs.spit October 7, 2008 at 9:41 am #

    He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death our mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.
    Revelations 21:4.

    Holding you and Aaron and sweet baby Aodin in my heart today.

  7. Caryn October 7, 2008 at 9:46 am #

    *lots of hugs* Thinking of you and your family today.

  8. Amy October 7, 2008 at 9:57 am #

    Thinking of you and Aodin today. Hoping you find some peace. Much love, Amy

  9. CLC October 7, 2008 at 11:30 am #

    Thinking of you and Aodin today. He is missed by us all.

  10. tash October 7, 2008 at 12:25 pm #

    Sending you peace and love today. Remembering Aodin, always. You’re all in my thoughts.

  11. Brandee October 7, 2008 at 2:08 pm #

    Heather, I’ve been thinking of you, Aaron and Aodin all day… Lots of love and hugs!

  12. Becca October 7, 2008 at 6:38 pm #

    Thinking of all three of you today. I can’t believe it’s been a year already. That just means my one year is right around the corner…

    No doubt in my mind that he is watching over you at this time.

  13. Bex October 7, 2008 at 10:50 pm #

    <3.

  14. Becky October 8, 2008 at 12:54 pm #

    I’m a day late, but I’m here and thinking of you all.

  15. rainypete October 10, 2008 at 7:35 am #

    I don’t think he could be any closer that he is, but I’m sure he’ll try. He is, after all, part Aaron. You are indeed blessed.

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