16 Oct

I have several positive things I want to post today, including an inspirational video and a huge thank you, but for now there is something else I have to get out there.

I was reading CLC’s blog this morning and saw a post about Dear Abbey.  The post talks about a letter received by Dear Abbey last year, and the response.  In the letter a woman complains that a coworker keeps a picture of her stillborn child on her desk.  Apparently it makes her coworkers (oddly pointed out as “mostly women”) uncomfortable.  Dear Abbey’s response can be read here, but essentially says that despite the fact that the woman’s desk is a personal space, the “inappropriate” photo should be kept out of the work space.  I think it’s a ridiculous, heartless response.

I sent this to Dear Abbey:

I am utterly offended by your treatment of a letter concerning a photo of a stillborn baby on 02.05.2007.  If the woman in question were keeping a photo of any other child on her desk, no one would question it for a moment.  The fact that her child was tragically lost is heartbreaking, but it is still her child and deserves the same love and respect as any other.  A child who dies is no less a child, and the woman no less a mother for it.  You owe a tremendous apology to mothers who have lost their children.  We deserve to be recognized as mothers.  Would you have given the same advice had the coworker complained about a baby photo of a child who died as a teen?  As mothers of stillborn children, those precious few photos are all we have.

If you feel so compelled, you can send your own response here.


4 Responses to “Outrage”

  1. Brandi October 16, 2008 at 8:54 am #

    I totally agree with you. Even though it would be very hard for me to see this precious childs face on the ladies desk~just to know that she lost one and I have three healthy children. I would feel pain for her. However I think that she has all the right to show off her precious angel!

  2. CLC October 16, 2008 at 9:27 am #

    I am glad you wrote her too. I am still seething over it.

  3. Caryn October 16, 2008 at 12:12 pm #

    This is what bugs me about people, in general. How selfish of that woman to think she has any right to have an opinion about what pictures are displayed on her co-worker’s desk?

    And what would she do if one of HER co-workers came to her and said, “I see you have a picture of your toddler on your desk. He’s really not attractive to me and I don’t like that I have to see him whenever I come in here. Will you take that picture down?” Seriously. She’d go through the roof. It’s the same thing.

    [/ranting about the stupidity of people]

  4. Bex October 16, 2008 at 10:30 pm #

    Further more, what if it were a child who was physically deformed? Do they just not want to look at the photo because it’s not some blue eyed blonde haired bubbly smiling tot. They have serious fucking issues.

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