Pregnancy Brain

2 Mar

Oh boy, there is nothing like late pregnancy to make you think you’re going crazy.  Yesterday, when Aaron brought me a glass of chocolate milk, I said “thanks, Ma.”  And no, I was not being sarcastic.  For a half a second, my brain decided he was my mother.  Then last night, I demanded my routine goodnight kiss…. about two minutes after it had already happened.  Oh yeah.  Tonight, I am craving scallops and avocado.

In a much more disturbing trend, I have been having awful dreams.  Two nights ago I dreamed that Evi was born but she wouldn’t move or cry, and she was all purple like Aodin was.  I kept trying to nurse her, and then she wouldn’t stop, but she still wouldn’t move.  Then last night I dreamed I gave birth to triplets, who were all unexpectedly stillborn and, again, purple.

Although I don’t have a lot of pent up anxiety that I am aware of, I am apparently in denial.  To me, these dreams say that I am terrified out of my mind of losing this little girl, whether or not I can admit it during waking hours.

I know this is all normal, the worry, the crazy dreams….. but I sure wish I could sleep without dreaming of lost babies.


6 Responses to “Pregnancy Brain”

  1. Mrs.spit March 2, 2009 at 8:22 pm #

    Sending hugs.

    Aodin is safe where he is, and Evie is safe where she is.

    It’s ok. It truly is only a dream.

  2. Julia March 2, 2009 at 9:16 pm #

    Curiously, I had none of these dreams when pregnant with the Cub. Though I am quite sure that’s because all of my anxieties played out in real, awake time. Methinks your way might be better, if we go with the total time of freakouts. 🙂

  3. n. March 2, 2009 at 9:27 pm #

    hormones do crazy things to our pregnant brains, dont read anything into it. the really great news is that once pregnancy mush brain goes away, mama brain takes over. 😉 my friend told me last week she forgot her zip code when prompted to provide it to her mother. sadly, i totally related!
    hang tough – you are doing a fabulous job!

  4. irunwithscissors March 2, 2009 at 10:49 pm #

    😦 sorry your having such awful dreams! I love you sister, and sweetie little Evi is going to be perfect! **LOVES AND HUGS**

  5. JP March 3, 2009 at 12:18 pm #

    I am so sorry about your dreams. You’re little girl is safe and sound.

    On a different note Happy Birthday!!


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