Never

29 Apr

I never thought…

  • that I would look forward to doing the dishes.
  • that grocery shopping could feel like an adventure.
  • I would ever LIKE exercise and miss doing it.
  • I could love my husband any more than I do.  I was wrong.  It’s more every day.
  • I would outlive a child.
  • I would survive the loss of my son without permanent scars.  I was right, but the scars are more like badges of honor.
  • I would find so much positivity and hope in the death of a child.
  • I could feel so loved and supported by so many people.
  • the internet would be the tool by which I rediscovered my faith in humanity.
  • that I might make it this far, this happily, in my pregnancy.
  • that one day I would be proud of my body, not despite but because of all the changes, all of the stretching and swelling.
  • that this pregnancy would help me to redefine beauty.
  • that a dolphin show could make me cry in anticipation of sharing in Evi’s wondrous discovery of the world.

I am still happily, successfully pregnant.  I am, of course, anxious for Ms. Evi’s debut… but happy to wait for now.  I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow morning, and I will be asking the doctor about induction then.  Not because I plan to ask for one, but because I would like to know at what point the doctors will consider one… in other words, how far past my due date will they let me go?  I just like to have some idea of what the game plan will be if things keep going.

Otherwise, I am trying to take the opportunity to move around some and get my body back into shape as much as I can before this baby is born.  I have heard that prolonged bed rest can really make the post-delivery recovery a lot worse, so I am hoping that every little bit of strength I regain now will help.  I am feeling better and stronger every day.

I spend a lot of my time wondering if this or that ache/pain/weird feeling is normal, or is something I am feeling thanks to bed rest.  I imagine a lot of my discomforts and aches now are simply those every woman has at this stage in a pregnancy.  Today I am 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant.

My life is full of miracles.  My miraculous family, husband, son and daughter…  even my dog.  I couldn’t be happier, more content, more loved and supported.

Today is a GOOD day.

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6 Responses to “Never”

  1. mrs.spit April 29, 2009 at 11:07 am #

    Hurrah!

  2. Brandee April 29, 2009 at 11:24 am #

    I love this post! Thanks for making my eyes leak… 🙂 I wonder how many people, other than me, are stalking you each day to see if Evi’s arrived yet… Can’t wait to hear how your appointment goes tomorrow!

  3. Bex April 29, 2009 at 11:38 am #

    I love you.

    Also, I think they let it go a week and a half to two weeks… my sister was around that late and so they induced her. 🙂 That’s about all the helpful info I have. Have a good doctor’s apt!!!!! 🙂

  4. Rasee April 29, 2009 at 6:06 pm #

    I think your doctor will probably let you go about 10 days or so past your due date, but some babies just take time, you know? I wish you and Evi the best of health! I can’t wait to meet her. (Also, the last time I was around dolphins–swimming with them–I ended up with my first tattoo. That is my bliss right there: dolphins.)

  5. Jenifer April 29, 2009 at 9:49 pm #

    Brandee that is kind of funny. I’m a total lurker. I happened to stumble across Aodin’s pictures on flickr and as a mother of two I was so touched by one woman’s strength to come out to the world with such an amazing story. I’ve been following her flickr ever since…and only a few weeks ago found this blog via her flickr profile.

    Now I’m just some wife and mother located smack dab in the middle of the US but here I sit, clicking this blog every day…anxious for the good news! 🙂

  6. Mom to Baby J April 30, 2009 at 8:16 am #

    I think it’s so amazing you are still pregnant. Wouldn’t it be wonderful for you to go past your due date after everything? I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of Evi but happy she’s making her entrance in her own time.

    Glad you are enjoying the small things…

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