How?

17 May

How do you begin to thank someone for 29 years (and counting!) of love, support, trust, faith, and beauty?  How do you tell them how thankful you are, how much you appreciate them?

And how do you make that thanks bigger, that love more obvious, when they have added to that 29 years another five weeks of selfless support, unquestioned love, and amazing effort to help you run your house, feed your baby, and ever get any sleep?

My mom left this morning, getting into her car with my brother and beginning the long drive back to Florida after five long but beautiful weeks of staying here with us.  She was here for my stitch coming out, here to help me and Aaron as we adjusted to life with me mobile again.  She was here to comfort me in my soreness and fatigue, to comiserate with my excitement at Evi’s impending arrival.  Once the stitch was gone, she helped us by watching the dog so we could have a big day out, by cooking and cleaning for us so Aaron could finally have a break.

She held me hand (and my leg) through labor, and was the first person to see Evi’s entrance into the world.  She cried with us, for us, and she relished every moment with her granddaughter.  I have never seen a more beautiful grandma.  She and Evi bonded from the start, and I know our little girl is going to miss her “Banana.”  My mom helped us through the first rough nights by watching, feeding, and changing Evi so that we could get some sleep.  She stayed up with Evi for hours so that Aaron and I could function.  She took a million pictures, sang songs to our daughter, and gave her an early taste of how beautiful her grandparents are.

I cannot explain how much I am going to miss her.  Yes, I will miss the cooking and cleaning, but more than that I will miss the company.  I will miss someone sitting with me while I pump or feed the baby at 5am.  I will miss someone to talk to when I have to make a mid-week run to Target.  I will miss someone to help with Evi when she has a checkup or I go grocery shopping.  I know I will talk to my mom every day (like I always have) but I will miss her just being here.

When I woke up this morning (I got up to hug them and say goodbye, but then went back to bed) it felt sad in the house, a little too empty and quiet.  My mom must not have slept at all last night, because every dish is clean, all the tables organized, all the laundry done…  and when I walked into the guest room to find the bed empty and stripped of sheets, I couldn’t help choking back tears.

We may have had our moments while she was here, tiny bouts with frustration, exhaustion, and pride… but my mother is one of my best friends, and I cherish every moment she spent here with us.  I hope she comes back soon!  Evi already misses her Banana!  I know, though, that it is time for us to establish our own rhythm as a family, and to find our own way of making this work without the extra help.  It is time for us to come into our own, to grow and develop a sense of ourselves as a family…  I just wish we could do it living closer to our families.  For now, we will find other ways to make it work.  We will buy webcams, spend time chatting online, take tons of pictures and videos, and rack up the frequent flier miles.

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10 Responses to “How?”

  1. Barbara May 17, 2009 at 9:31 am #

    Mums are great.

    xxx

  2. Emma May 17, 2009 at 9:39 am #

    She’ll always be with you in spirit, and back before you know it! I am glad to hear that life with Evi is settling somewhat. Hope you and Aaron are well 🙂 xxx

  3. Sarah May 17, 2009 at 12:31 pm #

    My Mom’s at her summer place for the next 5 months. I know that sense of emptiness and quiet sadness. I hope you see her again very soon. No matter how old we are, we always need our Mothers.

  4. Beautiful Mess May 17, 2009 at 1:05 pm #

    How sweet! My mom did a lot for us when Nae was born. I couldn’t imagine doing it without her. You thanked her already. You may not it, but by being such a strong woman and an amazing mom, you thanked her. You thanked her for “letting” her be there for you and Evi. There is NOTHING she wanted but that. Mom’s and grandmother’s are AMAZING and love to help out.

  5. Brandee May 17, 2009 at 3:35 pm #

    Your mom is awesome. 🙂 Have fun adjusting to your family of three!

  6. cynthia May 17, 2009 at 5:15 pm #

    What a beautiful tribute to your Mom. I used to go through the same emotions when my mom would leave also. She came for every baby except for Addison, and I sure did miss her then!

  7. Brandi May 18, 2009 at 2:18 pm #

    You’re such an amazing writer, Heather. I know your mom is going to miss you and Evi even more than you miss her. She won’t be able to stay away long though. 🙂

    I love how perfectly you documented this. ❤

  8. Tara May 18, 2009 at 3:13 pm #

    I think that by becoming the wonderful, amazing woman that you are is more than enough to show your mom how grateful you are, but on top of that you have given her a beautiful granddaughter. I don’t think either of you could ask for more. You are both fabulous women I am lucky to know!

  9. Mommy May 18, 2009 at 5:54 pm #

    Oh my sweet girl; thank you so much for your kind and beautiful words. I have none to say what my time with you, Aaron and Evi-baby meant to me; I miss you all so much, but couldn’t possibly love and trust you more. You will do a beautiful job with your child; because you are beautiful. All my love. MOM

  10. coffeegrl May 20, 2009 at 6:30 am #

    I want my mommy too! This is so beautiful and makes me want to cry. I felt pretty much exactly the same way after my mom left us. We were fortunate enough to have her wait with us for the four weeks before the baby was born (gosh we played a lot of cards!) and then for 4 more weeks after she was born. I didn’t think I’d be able to function without her. Not so much because I couldn’t make dinner or get the laundry done (although her efforts in those areas were hugely appreciated!) but not having her daily moral support and companionship – that was the hard part.

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