3 Dec

I’ve totally stolen this word from Miss Zoot.  The other day, she posted about how she has been having a hard time lately maintaining her patience with her kids.  I think this is something every parent goes through, and any parent who spends most of their day at home with their kids probably has a bigger issue than others.

This morning, I read her new post about how much better her day was when she managed to stay patient with her kids.  She said that she just concentrated on taking deep breaths and, when all else failed, giving a good zerbert to the belly.  There is nothing so satisfying as the deep down, belly laughs I get when I give Evi’s belly a good zerberting.  Raspberrying?  Whatever word you use, I’m guessing you know what I mean.  I was so enamored of Zoot’s word (zerberting) that I’ve co-opted it.

Anyway, I am ashamed to admit that I sometimes lose my temper with Evi.  I never yell or take it out on her, but sometimes I just get really frustrated and cranky and I frequently speak to her more harshly than I should when that happens.  Then I just make myself feel worse because I feel like an idiot and a big, mean bully for getting frustrated with my seven month old.  I mean really?  Who’s the adult here?  Oh yes, me.  When I get frustrated with her I feel like the dreaded “bad mother.”

Now, for clarification, I do know that I am NOT, in fact, a bad mom.  Actually, at least when I am caffeinated and relaxed, I think I do a pretty good job.  But in those moments when I’ve just uttered a cranky “oh, come on” to my infant daughter, I feel like a total waste of parenting space.

So today, if I feel cranky, I will stop and zerbert a baby belly.  I will NOM on her neck or hands or feet, which always makes her laugh out loud, and I will wallow in the musical sound of my daughter’s laughter instead of in my own cranky-faced weirdness.  Just writing it down makes me feel calmer, more prepared for the day.  Because really?

Evi goes in this morning to get her flu booster shot, and to have her head remeasured.  When we were there last time, her head measurement jumped to the 90th percentile after having always been at the 50th.  I am willing to bet that it is either nothing or a measuring mistake on someone’s part (though they did measure three times) but since she was coming in anyway for her flu booster, they figured it couldn’t hurt to remeasure.  I am hoping they weigh her again too, so I can relax a little more about her food intake, which has admittedly improved a lot lately.

After her appointment, I will be headed to an afternoon at my friend Nicole’s house, and I am super excited to see her and her awesome boys!

Maybe when I get back I will feel prepared to tackle the big blog post about my weight, my lack of motivation to exercise, and my seeming incapability when it comes to getting back on track with weight loss….

P.S.  I was just going through my tags to tag this post and I saw my “Little Sushi” tag.  Sometimes it makes me so sad to think I only use it now for memorials and memories.  After two plus years and a beautiful baby girl, sometimes my heart still breaks at the loss of my sweet man.  You are heavy on my heart today, my sweet Aodin.


2 Responses to “Zerberting”

  1. pinktattoochick December 3, 2009 at 11:19 am #

    Great story. We all need to be more patient with kids. I work around them all week long and I feel like I could pull my hair out. I know sometimes it’s probably worse for a mother. Thanks for the article it was really good.


  2. Beautiful Mess December 3, 2009 at 12:59 pm #

    Oooohhh it’s SNOWING on your page! I love it!

    I love zerberting bellies and noming on necks! I can’t help but smile when I do either of those. It’s hard not to get stressed out and overwhelmed. What’s important is that we realize we do it and allow ourselves a moment to calm down.

    I’m sorry you’re missing Aodin right now. I believe he’s watching you, Aaron and Evi and is SO proud of you! You all are such a wonderful family to him. I’m thinking of him and sending him and your family lots of love!

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