19 Jan

I’m a mess right now.  I am a hormonal wreck, hopefully from the birth control because if not I may be losing my mind.  I am constantly stressed and worried, everything feels like too much, and then five minutes later I feel alright again.  Back and forth, over and over, every day.

Evi is eating twelve ounces of formula or less now.  We’ve tried different types of formula, different temperatures, new atmospheres and feeding positions, new bottles, different formula/water ratios.  We’ve tried changing feeding times, adding cereal, sippy cups, regular cups.  She’s eating her solids, but the bottle is not happening.

I am constantly worried about money.  I make next to none, and we’re always needing something.  Dieting is actually costing us more money than eating the whatever crap that is on sale.  Our second car is (still) broken.

I start school in nine days, and even now without classes I can’t keep it together.  I am praying this helplessness is the result of the hormones from the pill, because otherwise I’ve become someone I don’t know or understand.

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7 Responses to “…”

  1. Liz January 19, 2010 at 3:07 pm #

    I can’t go on the Pill any more…hormones mess me up. I’m sorry to hear about the worries. I know what it is like to live with anxiety and it isn’t fun. It will get better – the anxiety and the causes for them.

    For Evi – have you tried formula with some rice cereal in it to try to alter the flavor a bit? I know sometimes they add rice cereal to bottles early on to help with reflux but maybe it could help here too?

  2. Brandee January 19, 2010 at 3:12 pm #

    HUGS.
    I hope you can find a doctor who will listen to you and help you get back to feeling like yourself. It’s an awful feeling, and the only times I’ve felt like that were right after both kids were born and my hormones were out of whack.
    HUGS again!

  3. Jason Rohrblogger January 21, 2010 at 12:35 pm #

    Brutal! It sucks being out-of-control and broke and overwhelmed. And a doctor who doesn’t listen deserves to get fired. I say ditch the birth control altogether and go full Duggar! Just have twelve children and don’t stop til menopause! Another side effect is that you will never have to go back to school again. I’m just sayin’.

  4. Emily January 21, 2010 at 2:18 pm #

    I can so empathize with the pill troubles…I have had a love-hate relationship with it for years. I finally went for the new IUD, Mirena. Life-changing! Nothing is perfect for every single person but this was a very good choice and actually contributed to my weight loss. Maybe worth a conversation with your doctor? A new one, of course, not the one you broke up with!

  5. alittlesweetness January 21, 2010 at 8:57 pm #

    I’m late with the comment but I just wanted to say sorry you’ve got so much going on and I REALLY hope you are able to find a doc that takes hormone issues seriously. I have vowed to never, ever go back on the pill because it makes me insane.

    Hope you’re doing better

  6. Wondy January 23, 2010 at 1:08 pm #

    Thinking of you my love, and hope you find a balance. I have a feeling you will, soon.

  7. Minoa February 19, 2010 at 2:09 pm #

    Too bad there isn’t a litmus test for hormones so you know exactly what you need.

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