Another day

1 Jun

money treeI’m spending all the time and energy I have (at least, everything that doesn’t go to raising my girl) on trying to find ways to support our family right now, and I’m beginning to hate money.

I don’t bring in much at all, but thanks to a couple of freelance jobs I do have a tiny trickle of money coming in right now.  It’s small and unpredictable, but at least it’s something to ease the twinges of guilt I occasionally have over not doing “my fair share” to support the family financially.

Aaron is happy for me to stay home with Evi, and I LOVE staying home… but it is tough sometimes to find the balance between staying home for her and the idea that a job with a reasonable, regular pay would improve our overall quality of life.  I’m wondering when/if the balance shifts?

Right now I honestly think I am making the best choice to stay home with her, even though it means sacrifices financially.  What I’m wondering, though, is if it will change when she is in school full time.  Wouldn’t it be better at that point to bring more money in and improve her life in that way, more resources, more trips, more chances for unique experiences?  Or does it always matter more for me to be here with her?  Will the day come when saving money to take her to Europe will be a better choice for her than pinching pennies so that I can be her classroom mom?

I’d love input from other parents on this…  I just don’t know the answers.  At least I know I’m doing the right thing for now, and the rest will work itself out in time.  What worked for you and your family?


More from me:

Getting on with the 30 Day Shred

Is gay a choice?

Southern Rhone red wines



5 Responses to “Another day”

  1. Zoot June 1, 2010 at 10:59 am #

    Let me tell you about MY situation. I became a SAHM, not by choice, but now? I wouldn’t change it at all. First of all, the guilt that followed me around when I worked? Made me crazy. No amount of money would help with the KRAZEE GUILT that made me carry every other burden just to make myself feel better. Also – being able to drive my kid to school and pick him (and his friends) up afterwards, and drive him to rehearsals – those are the kind of things I think are important as you parent older kids b/c it keeps you involved. You get to know their friends, their stories, their parents…if you have other parents or friends or buses do the carpooling, a lot goes on you don’t know about. Does that make sense? I hope to never work full-time again. When the little ones go to school, I hope to find part-time work, or at least a flexible schedule.

    That’s just me, though! 😉

    (And trust me, my husband is constantly reminding me how much nicer of a house we could be buying if I were working. The money part is hard. ;))

  2. Lindsay June 1, 2010 at 11:15 am #

    It’s always nice to have extra money coming in, but I think in the long run, Evi would rather just have you. I know things were tight with my parents while I was growing up, but I LOVED having my mom home and there for me whenever I needed anything. And even as an adult, when she used to live by me, I loved having her free to do things with me. I never got to go to Europe :), but that’s okay. Going back to school or work has crossed my mind too, when my kids are all in school. I figure I’ll just wait till then to decide. If you love staying home, then I’d just stick with that!

  3. H June 1, 2010 at 1:27 pm #

    Everyone can give you an argument about what you should do based on their own experience, but in the long run only three things matter: What is right for you; What is right for Evi; and what is right for Aaron. I’d just argue that those three should have equal weight. And then you are always willing to re-evaluate as things change.

    I was disheartened recently when a parenting group I’m in, that is about 50/50 at home and working moms, posted a thread on why we had decided to do one or the other. What depressed me is that every single person said they did what they did because their mom did the opposite. It’s possible, in the long run, there is no way to win with kids!! But what you want, right now, in this moment, and what your husband wants — those things matter too.

  4. Amanda June 1, 2010 at 6:01 pm #

    I agree with Zoot! I worked from home (working 60+ hours a week) for 5 years. The entire time I felt guilty. Guilt from not being a “full-time” mom because I was working, and not being on the job “full-time” when I was with my kids. Even though I had a flexible schedule, it was still hard. I didn’t sleep much.
    I sold my company a little over a year ago and it was the best decision I could have ever made. I now get to be a full-time mom and be there in EVERY way for my kids. We aren’t in near the financial position we used to be in (the money is very nice!) but I feel that what I am doing is better for my family in the long run.
    Whatever you decide will be the best for your family!


  1. After the Shred « Skinny Sushi - June 1, 2010

    […] Staying home or making money?  Where’s the balance? […]

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