Independence Guilt

4 Jul
Grande unsweetened iced passion tea - pic from my phone.

Grande unsweetened iced passion tea - pic from my phone.

I’m feeling especially guilty today.  I’m sitting in Starbucks, listening to hipster music and drinking an iced tea while trying not to be irritated that they are out of protein plates (my planned lunch) and apparently don’t have a working internet connection now that they’re wifi is free.  I’m trying not to let the stress talk me into buying a baked good, here in the land of notoriously unhealthy baked goods.

I had to take a break today, and I’m feeling incredibly guilty for it.  I woke up in a bad mood and stayed that way despite my best efforts to help it.  I was grumpy and angry and short tempered, and it was starting to wear on Aaron and Evi too.  In the end, I packed myself up (forgetting my laptop cord, of course) and headed off to Starbucks so I can get a break.

And here lies the guilt.  Why should I need a break from them, the very people I live for, the people I love the most in the world, the people who make me laugh and smile when nothing else can?  I feel like a terrible person for this.  I feel like I should have been able to suck it up, spend a day with my family, and be happy that I have them.  Instead, I’m holed up in a poorly stocked Starbucks, left with little more than coffee cake and mini donuts as lunch options, and hoping I can spend an hour or so here decompressing and return to my family with a smile.

Please, tell me this happens to you?  Tell me it’s normal for you to occasionally need some time away?  Tell me it’s alright that I’m secretly enjoying being all alone right now?  Also, as an aside, tell me it’s alright that I’m seriously annoyed by the chatty threesome that’s just come to invade my quiet corner despite the rest of the seating being totally empty…

Update: the time away was really surprisingly refreshing, and I had barbecue almonds for lunch.


More from me:

Happy 4th – I need your fitness advice!

Happy Independence Day (plus an Eclipse review)

30 Day Slimdown RESULTS



8 Responses to “Independence Guilt”

  1. a July 4, 2010 at 2:16 pm #

    Ha! I must have time away from my family. I love them, but I have a low tolerance for continued exposure to people. I decided that my husband was worth marrying because he’s the only person I’ve encountered that I can spend more than 8 hours with in a row, without wanting to kill. But everyone has limits.

  2. Elaina July 4, 2010 at 2:19 pm #

    I do take ME time, I have to! And when I start feeling guilty about it I remind myself that an hour, or a day of me time leaves me refreshed and in a better mood so I AM a better wife/mom. We all get stressed out, overwhelmed, and need a break once in awhile, even from the people we love most!

  3. workout mommy July 4, 2010 at 2:32 pm #

    i used to feel guilty too until i realized that I am much happier after I’ve had a break. Everyone needs some me/quiet time. 🙂

  4. S July 4, 2010 at 8:26 pm #

    I think it’s a necessity, as in, me/alone time. Being human is one, being a superwoman is another. I think you simply need to get by the ‘in between’ and chill when you need to. And then bounce back as an energized, happy bunny.

    • Jules July 7, 2010 at 9:01 pm #

      I may feel guilty at times, but yes, I take a break once in awhile. It’s almost a “must” in terms of making sure I remember that the mom role isn’t 100% who I am (albeit a huge part.) Caffiene helps too – makes me happy.


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