Truly, Madly

12 Jul

A friend of mine posted the following on her Facebook page:

Marriage is not only about how madly in love you are through the good times, but how strongly committed you are through the bad ones! Love is not always convenient, but if it is true love, it will outlast any strain, overcome any obstacle, & grow consistently & exponentially for all eternity.

Being both naturally argumentative and a die-hard romantic, I had to disagree.  I mean yes, I get her point and she’s right to a degree.  Of course the strength of a marriage lies in how you weather the storms.  Aaron and I certainly learned a lot of important things about how much we could rely on one another when we lost Aodin.  So yes, marriage is about outlasting adversity.

My issue is that quotes like make me feel like people want an excuse.  People want to be able to say that it’s alright that they aren’t still madly, goo-goo, nutso in love after however long.  Many, many people have told me that what I am about to say is naive and that it is unfairly holding others to my own standards…. but I can’t help how I feel.

If you’re doing it right, I can’t help but think you SHOULD be insanely in love forever.  It should never end.  You should always be as silly happy as you were in the very beginning.  Aaron and I were really proud that not long after our four year wedding anniversary we were mistaken for newlyweds by a photographer at an event.  The mistake, said the photographer, was thanks to our hand holding, adoring looks, lots of laughter… and she (a weddin photographer by trade) was shocked to hear we’d been married for several years already.

In case you’re curious, here’s the photo that resulted:

Not quite newlyweds...

Not quite newlyweds... close upDon’t we just look miserable?  Look, I know marriage is not always easy.  I know you’re going to get irritated with your spouse, you’re going to have arguments and disagreements, no matter who you are.  That’s all a normal part of sharing a life with someone.

However, I don’t care what anyone says.  I refuse to believe that you have to stop being happy, sappy, crazy in love.  To this day I get butterflies when Aaron comes home.  I still hold his hand and my tummy feels fluttery when he holds me in his arms.  He’s still my favorite place to be.


More from me:

Mamavation Monday: bounce – the one where I FINALLY learn that it’s all about the journey



9 Responses to “Truly, Madly”

  1. Pamela M. Kramer July 12, 2010 at 11:27 am #

    That’s awesome!!!! Way to celebrate your marriage.

  2. Hailerstar July 12, 2010 at 11:53 am #

    I agree with you on this.

    To this day my mom’s friends are STILL surprised that Stephen and I are just as in love as when we got together.

    I think that, for some people, because it faded for them then they expect that to be the norm for everyone.

    It’s not.

    But then I often wonder as well if this also has to do with marrying the right person and/or putting the effort of doing little things of showing love to your partner each day.

  3. Brandee July 12, 2010 at 12:13 pm #

    I love this about you guys! I feel the same way – Fred and I just went to a wedding over the weekend and were talking about how “easy” (although I hate to use that word) being married to each other has been. We still feel like newlyweds… I’ve never been tired of being with him (even when we do have an argument!)… And we’re still totally “in love.” I can’t see that changing. I hate to say any of that and come across as being naive or be proven wrong later, lol… but it’s how I feel, and I’m glad to read you feel the same! I forgot we got married the same year… must have been a good year. 😉

  4. Jacki July 12, 2010 at 1:34 pm #

    I demand more wedding pictures. You’re wearing your hair very similar to how I’d like mine done!!

    • Skinny Sushi July 12, 2010 at 2:46 pm #

      I just did wet set rollers! I will post more pics soon!

  5. Caryn July 12, 2010 at 4:29 pm #

    It’s funny because my sisters keep telling me that this feeling will fade and I’m just naive because Al and I have only been married five years. It’s been five years, man. I think this is just the way it is. We still hold hands / hug / kiss all the time. I still get giddy when he looks into my eyes and tells me he loves me…. which he still does quite regularly.

    I love that you and Aaron are like that, too. I think it will teach Evi good things about how a happy relationship is supposed to be. 🙂


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  2. Mamavation Monday: bounce « Skinny Sushi - July 12, 2010

    […] Truly, Madly: why I refuse to stop being a newlywed […]

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